Rewriting & Freewriting with 5th & 6th Graders

For their 9th week of poetry, 5h & 6th graders were excited to revise, complete, and share their past poems. For inspiration we read the poem “The Blank Page” by Chetana Kamath. In her poem Kamath is speaking directly to a blank sheet of paper, asking it, “What do you want me to make you?” The page replies by telling Kamath that it wants to dress up in colors. So, she begins filling up the blank page with her colorful ideas until the page its finally happy and content.

I told students to talk to their old poems, especially those they hadn’t finished and see what changes they could make. In pairs and groups students filled out peer review sheets for their classmates, to give helpful feedback to improve their writing. Students were even able to work on their slam poems for their upcoming slam contest. Some classes were testing that Thursday, so their time to write was slightly limited, but they rose to the challenge and edited and expanded their previous poems, but also had the opportunity to free write and create new ones.

Please enjoy the refreshed and revised poems below.

 

 

Ms. Yassky’s 5th Grade
Group 1

 

My Classroom Voices 
by Hayden H.

Some kids in my classroom try to keep it down.
But when something fun is going on,
Our voices make the classroom so happy.
Our voices are louder than a protest.

My classroom voices are loud, but loving.
Our voices are like rock and roll.
Our voices are fluffy and wet like clouds.
When the class’s voice is quiet,
it is soft and breezy.

 

Thought Band
by Harmony H.

My mind is like a band so many noises.
Sometimes positive. most of the time negative.

Negative because people are mean,
where I live and where I don’t.

Positive because of music like Spotify
and the flute.

Negative because of overprotective things.
Negative because of bad feelings.
I might not show it, but I sure do feel it.

Negative because life is hard.
Positive because that’s how I’ll grow.

 

My Voice/Things About Me
by Omari L. 

My voice is like a singing bird in a tree.
My voice is a fast-racing car.
I’m short, but I can play sports.
I can be small, but I will be tall.

 

Soccer vs. Basketball
By Andres T.

Soccer                                                           Basketball

Soccer has the best or                              Basketball has an average
average team.                                            or awesome team

There are teams from other                   There are teams that are
countries that are qualified,                   qualified with the best
or not.                                                          team.

 

Eleven vs. Vecna (From Stranger Things )
by Vina W.

Eleven                                                                          Vecna 

I have powers.                                                         I lost my powers to eleven.

I live in the real world.                                          I live in the upside-down world.

I have friends.                                                         I don’t have friends.

I save people with my power.                              I kill people with my power.

I care for people.                                                    I don’t care for people.

I grew up in a lab.                                                  I grew up in a lab.

Papa raised me.                                                      Papa raised me.

I have a number tattoo.                                        I have a number tattoo.

I have powers.                                                         I have powers.

 

 

Ms. Yassky’s 5th Grade
Group 2

 

My Name Is Angel
by Emoni A.

My name is Angel:
cute, clever
smart, sweet
lovely loud.
amazing, awesome.

I will have a necklace that says love.

My tears are gold, I turn the clouds
from white to gold.

I can tell people their future.
I’d fly down from the sky
and tell a man, he will get
his fortune.

 

Nature’s Love
by Mason F.

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I have a poem
and it is for you.

There was once a goddess,
Beautiful and bright.
She could be wrong.
She could be right.

She made us in soil.
Gave us light.
We grew up
strong, big and bright.

We are all like animals.
Nature’s peas.
We grew our family
strong and free.

 

All About My iPad
by Taylor R.

I use my iPad to call God.

I use my iPad to look and my baby pic and God.

I use my iPad to look at my mom.

I use my iPad to look at my cuz

I use my iPad to see where God is.

I use my iPad to text God an email.

 

The Dog
by Naomi O.

The Dog was dancing

on the moon of Jupiter.

Then went back to Earth.

 

 

 

Ms. Henry’s 6th grade
Group 1

 

The Way I Sound
By Jayla C. 

My voice is
as brilliant
as a rainbow.

My voice is
as strong as
a body builder.

My voice is
as angry as
a loud alarm clock.

My voice is
as loud as
a cello.

My voice hides
in the shadows
like pray.

 

Was It Ever Going To Be Easy as It Was? 
By Awa D.

The thought of trees
make me want to live less.
I tried to relive being a seed.
but every time I think about it.
It makes me want to bleed.

The tears won’t stop.
rolling down my eyes.
Oh! Just go back to being a seed.

 

My Mind
By Aaron G.

My mind is a thinker.
I’m away thinking.
about something.

When I’m bored
my mind is a car
running down the
road, like a track.

My mind is like
Lil’ Baby’s music.
I am always singing
in my mind.

My mind is like my family,
sister, brother.

 

My Voice
by Caleb C.

My voice is a sneaky spy.

My voice is like the BK song, it is joyful.

My voice is like a light bulb, and I got good ideas.

My voice is like an elephant, loud and large.

My voice is like a comic, I got fun stories

My voice is like a pencil, it makes mistakes.

My voice is like Kurnia, loud and dark.

 

My Mind
By Anthony O.B.

My mind is full of happy thoughts.

my mind is thinking of funny jokes.

My mind is full of shoes and money.

My mind is full of food, sweet potatoes.

My mind is thinking about my uncle before he died.

My mid is full of games.

My mind is full of apps so I can shop.

My mind is full with being me.

 

 

Ms. Henry’s 6th grade
   Group 2

 

 

No Way Home & There’s No Place Home
By Tyasia H.

Part 1: No Way Home                                     Part 2: No Place Home 

A man with no way home.                              There’s no place home
He sees the night with no                               for this man.
emotion and nowhere to
hide.                                                                    He’s been homeless for
years and never read.

He has no money and                                     Goes to the beach and looks at sand,
there’s nothing funny.                                     But he’s filled with nothing, but dread.

He looks for food,                                           He falls asleep, wakes up,
lives in the hood.                                              see’s bright light but

He’s got tears rolling down                            something’s wrong….
his eyes. He’s sorry.

But whatever or whenever,
he’s still strong. But nowhere
to belong.

 

Hyde Park School Art
By Latrell J.

The man and his idea tree.

Bugs like bees or butterflies taking a look.

People enjoying the breeze and the food.
Fishing, enjoying the dancing seaweed.

Owl protecting himself from the rain.

Clouds having imagination of his own.

Hyde Park art adds reality.

 

Walter vs. Landon
by Marcus T.

Walter                                                                            Landon

I’m interesting, wet                                          Me? Built different in almost
usually wearing blue.                                       everyway. I love the colors
green and brown.

I wish I was living peacefully.                         Same here man, well kinda.
People are feeding me poison.                        People love throwing trash
everyday.                                                             in me.

People go through me, swim                          People just walk all over me.
through me.

It’s crazy that people treat me                         Same here.
like this, but they need me.

 

Just Grow
By Marilyn W.

Bright colors everywhere as we try
to relive our sunshine.

We shower him with love, water and hope
as we are growing just fine.

Our little sunshine might as well just die.
There is smoke clouds surrounding him

As he tries to thrive.

RECENT FACEBOOK POSTS

TESTIMONIALS

“Writing poetry makes me feel like I can see myself, like I can see my reflection, but not in a mirror, in the world. I write and I know I can be reflected.”
-Oscar S.

“Writing poetry makes me feel free.”
-Buenda D.

“Writing poetry is like your best friend.”
-Jessica M.