Revision Party (8th)

We had a fantastic revision party today! We talked about various revision techniques (including talking about if we had kiki or bouba poems!). Each student chose a poem they were interested in continuing to work on and a goal for their revision. Students played with line length, simile/metaphor, and tone. We had a rousing reading afterward with lots of very dramatic drumrolling! Here are a few revisions:


My Diary


My diary in my hands

The papers flapping like a birds wings

The cover, blue and sparkly

Like a midnight sky ruined by stars

The pages cream laid


The glitter made it coarse

Drying my fingers as they hovered

At first, I despised it

A book was not a present

Time changed it

From book to holder of my child mind’s thoughts



Cat on a Bed



Alone in my home

a bundle of joy

taking up space

while breaking my joints


cracks and cracks

from my bones

A sad color of grey

in my bed, sat


lying still

not a sound to be heard

lonely in my room

quietly like a cat






My old neighbor painted me

a beautiful painting

it was so thoughtful

it had two butterflies playing

around. It reminded me of us playing

in the garden when we were little

we were up so high on the swings

it felt like we were flying in

the garden. The strawberries we ate

were in the painting.

It made me so happy that I

cried. I’m so grateful she

made me this beautiful




“Writing poetry makes me feel like I can see myself, like I can see my reflection, but not in a mirror, in the world. I write and I know I can be reflected.”
-Oscar S.

“Writing poetry makes me feel free.”
-Buenda D.

“Writing poetry is like your best friend.”
-Jessica M.