To Rewrite or not to Rewrite...that is the question...

To Rewrite or not to Rewrite…that is the question…

We are close to the end of our 10-week residency at Hamline Elementary. So, for our 9th week of poetry, I gave Hamline 6th graders the option of editing one of their old poems or writing a free verse poem, where they had the freedom to write a poem in any style or topic they wished.

For rewriting I told students to think about giving their old poem’s a makeover, cutting unnecessary lines like split-ends, or adding some sparkle using similes or sensory details. For the free verse option, we looked at the poem, titled “S,” from Tanzeela, a former student of Hamline teacher Ms. Torres. Tanzeela wrote about why the letter “S” was such a special letter for her, how it reflected on her ideas about love, family and identity. I told students that an idea for a new poem could be about something or someone that is meaningful in their lives. Tanzeela was such a special student to Ms. Torres, that I will share her entire poem.

The letter “s” is really special
This letter may be the best letter to others
But for me, no
When people ask do you love your parent “s”
I never truly felt the “s”
It was always only one person I loved
Growing up in a house where “s” wasn’t really a thing I honestly felt nothing
The “s” is so meaningless and useless
The only thing I have from “s” is his last name
The only parent I care about is the one who filled the spot for the missing “s”
Which is my one and only mom the parent and parents

When students were finished writing they shared their poetry with classmates and discussed ideas of how they wished to celebrate our last day of poetry for next week. I’ll give you readers a hint, it involves a blue microphone. Until then, please enjoy these poems below.

Mr. Marroquin 6th Grade Group 1

The Key Jose F.

One Key is the only thing that is trapping
in a lonely box.
At the end I just see my past in one corner,
and my feelings on the other side.
The only way out is to experience
new feeling, or new experiences,
new memories.
Until I saw a glow of light saying,
it’s ok to let go of the pain.
I walk by it, then I see a good
beautiful key.
I touch it, then I wake up,
a girl kisses me.
I wonder who is she?

Not Love Viviana G.

Love is hard sometimes or to find,
because it hard to find someone,
the perfect one, it’s like a dream.
But when you find the perfect one,
it feels like a dream too, but there
is always something that is not ok.
It feels sad, when they are not
in front of you anymore.
It feels like a nightmare.
It shared your heart.
But do not feel like that.
Dream big and not let
it affect you.
Dream …

Mr. Marroquin 6th Grade Group 2

Me and Jocey Gabriela C.

Me and Jocey go to different schools,
but we are super close.
She helps me with boys and family.
the way we call and she keeps
me updated on her life, make
me happy.
When we get to see each other,
I appreciate the time we get.
When both know we both
will stay forever.

Futuristic Suit Marcus T.

If I had my own futuristic suit,
I would make the colors
red and black.
For my second set of colors,
it will be light blue and black.
My colors will be fast reflexes,
speed, and super strength.
I want to be the best and I
want to be the symbol
of peace.

Ms. Torres 6th Grade Group 3

Many Wishes Aiden A.

I wish that there was Dr. Pepper everywhere.

I wish they lowered the McDonalds prices.

I wish people actually keep their promises and not break them.

I wish school started at 8:30am instead of 7:25am

I wish our school had a chips and drinks vending machine.

I wish there wasn’t that much violence in the world so kids can have fun outside.

I wish people won’t judge others.

I wish these wishes came true.

Soccer Joshua A.

When I play soccer, I forget about
all my problems, school.

Will I ever be good enough
because soccer is
Something I’m good at
And the only thing I will ever be good at
I will just join other teams till I feel
Good enough to go to try outs
Some days I play with no confidence
And other I play with my heart out
I all need is a ball

and I will forget about my problems

My mind is a flower Ana O.

My mind is a flower
always thinking positive things
I love when the positive sun shines on me
my mind is a flower
the shiny petals on me full of positivity
and the water of positivity falling on me
my mind is a flower
I am a sunflower

Apple Bradley R.V.

Apple A sweet fruit that has a juicy watery taste
Apple a fruit that can make you not feel hungry
Apple a fruit that can make you feel better when your sad
Apple a fruit that can be carried to work
Apple a fruit that can be eaten anywhere
Apple a fruit that can be mixed with other fruits
Apple a fruit that can taste better with caramel
Apple that taste better with tajin
Apple a fruit that can be but in a cup with several fruit
Apple a fruit that can be made into a juice