Sorry Not Sorry!

I started the riots
in Ukraine
Which caused the
destruction of
Yanukovych’s rule
Forgive me for spreading
the spirit of freedom
and the destruction of tyranny
through the roar of the
people and the burning
of the capital.
Now a suite of poems–a conversation in poetic “apologies” by two pals:

You let me borrow
your sweater
and I have kept it
ever since.
You were probably hoping
to wear it to school that day
since that’s why
you bought it in the first place
I apologize
Its the softest sweater
so warm
and fuzzy.

I have hit you
in the eyeball.
I was aiming at your forehead.
But I missed.
I probably shouldn’t have
Hitting is wrong
I did temporarily blind you
I apologize
but there was a certain satisfaction
of seeing that single tear
drop onto my sweater.

I was really angry
and I had to release it
so I hit you
on the back.
I know backs are important
and I didn’t make you mad
but I know it hurts
because you were bruised for weeks
I’m sorry
but I was so mad
and it was so tempting
since you hit me in the eye

I stole your tacos
from Chipotle
when you were peeing
I know its wrong
they were your tacos
and you wanted to eat them
But they were delicious
You did punch me in the back
and you stole the sweater
And now back to our regularly scheduled “apologies:”

I tripped you
on purpose
As you walked
through the
clutter on the floor.
You worked really
hard on the project
that was due
in the morning.
Forgive me
it felt good
to watch you
face-plant on
your colorful
popsicle house.

The laughing roared
as I lightly pushed
your face into your
majestic cake.
I know you snickered
and sneered
but I couldn’t
resist the glorious opportunity
We all laughed at the
practical joke and
cake covered face,
and I got the first piece
as you stormed off

I know, I know, I’m sorry
Those meatballs weren’t for me,
But as a dog, you really must see
I cannot resist meat
You probably were saving those
as tasty leftovers,
But I would bet
you didn’t suspect
My big snout and wet nose
Forgive me, they were just so good
My compliments to the chef.

I have dropped
your pretty glass doll
that was perched
on your dresser
And which
you were probably
waiting to show off
to all of your friends
Forgive me–
she just looked
much happier
in my hands

I’d like to let you know
That I’ve set fire to your homework
All those late math assignments and essays
Like the way you burned
Me online because you thought
It was “funny”
But please forgive me
I also found it humorous
To watch your hard work
Ash & Flame

.
I jumped
on your chest
and pinned my
claws in
during which
you were
sleeping
forgive me
I really
wanted attention
I scared you
by flickering
the lights
for which
you were
“home
alone”
forgive me
it was hilarious
you freaked
out

I have eaten
the oreos
on the table
in your box
I know
you were going
to eat them
in a second
I’m sorry
but they were fabulous
sweet and sugary
and crunchy

I have
drank your soda
that was
in the refrigerator
and which
you were saving
to watch
the Oscars
sorry but
I could not resist
it was
so refreshing

I took
The last slice
At the
Lunch line
That you probably wanted
To eat for lunch.
With sighs of sadness,
I felt your disappointment.
Once I left the line,
I sat to eat it.
It was delicious,
with the warm, melted cheese,
soft, and crunchy.

I stole your
candy
before eating
mine.
You had been
saving it the
whole night.
Excuse my actions,
for the chicolate
had tempted me.
It was so warm and gooey, I
wish I could have
it again.