“Revisioning” and Revising

Greetings Galileo poetry friends and followers! After reading “Hairs”—a section from Sandra Cisneros’s book, The House on Mango Street—we discussed, is this a poem? Some students said no, because the text is written in paragraph format and follows conventions of sentences and punctuation. Other students said yes, this is a poem, because the language describing different family members’ hair styles is very creative and expressive. The conversation expanded our ideas about what makes something poem-like.

Because of an unusual schedule during a morning of testing, each group worked on slightly different writing tasks this week. Group 1 continued with our theme of celebrating family members by creating very short poems, choosing each word carefully. Group 2 worked on revising an already-written poem by making changes to stanzas, line breaks, or word choice. What do you think is poem-like about this week’s published poems?

Mrs. Van 4th Grade, Group 1

My Sister Samuel L.

smart strong fun funny
kind when I see her
she reminds me of my tia.

My Sister Christian R.

sweet
kind
helps with homework
smart

Brother Isabella T.

Kind

like a flower
Tall like a giraffe
helpful sweet

Mrs. Van 4th Grade, Group 2

Adventurous Self Xyala W.

A geologist/always who I
wanted to be like it/or not

Adventurous looking at the world
left & right/trying to figure out/
is that who I really want to be/
I could explore the world/
read books/I could be an
explorer, geologist, doctor

All things I dream
about having one day
I will go into the dark &
light.

Just only me! Giyah W.

Dark hair, rose pink glasses
pink big bike, big bedroom, nerdy collector

Anime-nerd, she, not he
Master drawer, manga maker

Not super anti-social, just a little

Dresses like a tom-boy, likes anime sweaters
There’s way more, do you want to know?

Grandpa Dahlia Z.

you’re sweet and kind
you have a wonderful mind…

inspiration, motivation,
trust without a conversation…

I love you too.

My Dad Mateo R.

My dad is a good cook
He’s expressive with his recipes

He can make me laugh
with a tickle or a story

He is very thoughtful
and caring

Helps with work
and projects

And the final thing
I have to say

is that… he’s just great!