Twain 5th students became comedians for their 6th week of poetry. Poetry can help us make fun of ourselves and the world around us. Sharing jokes and laughter connects people. Together we read Lesléa Newman’s poem, “According to Bread.” In her poem, Newman writes using a persona, the voice of a piece of bread. She includes hilarious puns, jokes that play around with words and ideas connected to bread. I always need dough/ and most often than not my life is toast/ as long as you butter me up and need me honey/whenever you’re in a jam I will rise. Through humor, readers can understand the point of view of bread, something we eat, but has an interesting existence besides being food.
Inspired by Lesléa Newman, students wrote poems, using silly puns to describe objects, animals, and plants.
Mr. Maciasz 5th Grade
Group 1
According to a Dog
By Abel L.
I’m a Dog.
I’m beige.
I have brown eyes.
I am a small dog.
I eat, sleep and use the
bathroom everyday.
Today was a ruff day.
I took my human for a walk.
I’m as tall as my human.
According to a Mirror
By Savannah H.
I’m reflecting on my life, it’s crystal clear.
Trying to mirror my best self everyday.
My beauty is clear and it shows.
Don’t worry if you’re feeling broken,
even shattered mirror, reflects beautifully.
I asked my mirror, “Mirror, Mirror on the
walls who’s the fairest of them all?”
Mirror replies: Sorry I don’t reflect on puns.”
Why did the mirror go to school?
To learn how to reflect properly.
According to a Toilet
By Nadia R.
I can be white.
I can be comfy.
I am sometimes dirty.
I drink dirty water.
I scream when I get flushed.
I eat almost every four hours.
Sometimes I would cry because,
I have been dumped on.
I can be comfy, unless you’re
on your phone
Me and the toilet paper get
into a fight, every time.
Ms. Fernandez 5th Grade
Group 2
According to a Desk
By Gio E.
I am square.
I have space inside me.
I am medium.
I live in all the schools.
I’m always standing.
I don’t move.
I am full of eating school supplies
I see everything.
I’m stuck in a room.
According to …the Cat
By Andrea H.
I’m really fluffy but I’m small.
I’m also cute as a button.
I love to eat food!
I kind of sleep all day.
The like to play and mess
with dogs.
Hey may I ask what is
your favorite color?
. . . . .
What happened?
Cat got your tongue.
ha ha ha ha ha
Don’t worry no one is
purrfect ha ha ha ha
I love your outfit
it’s so meowtastic.
ha ha ha ha ha
What It Is (Clock)
By Mateo S.
Round
brown, gold, black, gray
sometimes long like a line.
I move from the inside,
but stand still all the time.
People check me all the time.
The only thing I say is Tik Tok.
People put me on their wrist
just to check me out.
They put me on the wall,
so I have a round the room view.
According to Pizza
By Daniel T.
I’m being cooked right now.
I’m sweating grease.
I’m getting hot over here.
I’m getting a new design.
I have three problems:
I’m currently being eaten.
I’m split in half.
I have brothers and sisters
all over the world.
This guy is sprinkling
parmesan cheese
on my cheese.
Ms. Respress 5th Grade
Group 3
According to Jelly
By Dave M.
My flavor is strawberry.
I am pink and red.
I am jiggly not liquidy.
I will get eaten most of the
time, cause I’m yummy.
I will get back in the fridge,
when people are done.
I will jiggle like I’m jiggly puff.
I wiggle like a worm
having a stroke.
I turn into quicksand like
the people in the movies
when I’m on bread.
Dogs
By Jamir J.
I am cute.
I am fluffy.
I am very playful.
I like to take walks.
I like to play.
I like to howl.
I can’t take myself down
to the local pond anymore.
I tried to trick myself into
eating a healthy snack,
I didn’t bite.
what’s a dog’s favorite
mode of transportation?
A waggin.
According to Water
By Yuriana G.
My name is water.
I’m no ones son or daughter.
I’m clear as glass.
People also say I taste like gas.
I’ll swim in your mouth.
And then will go down South.
I’ll dance down your throat.
Then I’ll float in your stomach
like a boat.
People like me cold, not nice.
I can be wet or I can be ice.
I’m ice but not ice cream.
I’m everywhere.
I’m everything.
So order me up.
Ding.
Now, I’m asleep.
And my journey is far
too deep.
According to Monkeys
By Alexandra M.
I look like Alexandra’s brother.
I look like a bear.
I look like a minion.
I poop, sleep, and
dance every day.
You’re bananas !!
Don’t monkey around me!
Stop swimming!
Ms. Bell 5th Grade
Group 4
According to a Chocolate Chip Cookie
By Ivan G.
I’m brown.
I’m baked.
I have chocolate
chips.
I get eaten by Ivan.
I break in half.
crumbs spill everywhere.
My crumbs spill like a drink.
I get dunked like a basketball.
Milk is my swimming pool.
According to Elmo
By Giovanni C.
I am Elmo.
My appearance is red,
and an orange nose.
I’m small but sweet.
I’m a red monster
but not a monster.
I live on Sesame Street.
I like to hang out with
friends.
How can a rock
be a pet?
According to My Vanity
By Sofia M.
I’m bright with lights.
Sometimes messy,
and heavy and full
with cosmetics.
I make sure you don’t
have food in your teeth.
I make sure your hair
looks just right,
and your mascara
isn’t dripping.
I laugh as I watch you
accidentally burn
yourself with a
straightner.
According to a Pancake
By Sean W.
I’m a pancake.
I get covered in syrup.
I’m get cold in the refrigerator
I’m made of dough.
I’m always burnt.
I’m flipping out.
I have butter.
I have a smiley face.
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