This week at Smyser, we spent time editing and revising our poems! We talked about how with most things, you have to keep doing it to get better: soccer practice, theater rehearsals, returning to your sketch book. Editing is returning to the practice of writing to help us hone our craft and see where we might want to grow or change. We watched a short, artistic clip taken from an interview with Ira Glass where he talks about his own editing practice.
Check out some of the revised poems from this week’s session!
Mrs. Showalter’s Class
Isabella G., “I am a Dog”
I can run fast. I can bite hard.
I can be nice. Dogs are cute they
will be mean when they need to be.
I can be tamed by my owners.
They can feed me food. I can drink
whatever. I will be outside all day
and in the yard all day just
playing in the sun. I can eat
the grass like it is my food
and roll around the grass to itch
my back so it will not itch
all day. I can eat a pup cup
it will be so good I love eating
pup cup I will be a good dog. They
can be fun and nice.
Crosby C., “Crazy Butcher“
Weird smell
Acting Weird
Very bloody walls
Rotting human flesh
loud, screaming,
Meat, meat, and more meat
Crazy people
Crazy laugh
Insane man
NOW RUN NOW
Mrs. Przeklasa’s Class
Ellina T., “What Being Grateful Feels Like”
Have you ever felt so grateful that
your body felt warm inside. I have,
I feel grateful when I’m at
home because it keeps me company.
I am grateful because all around our
city has some amazing libraries and
lots of mind while reading.
Downtown is another thing because
there are lots of color around me
and arts. The people I’m grateful
are Mom, Dad, sister, and God! They
are the most wonderful people
because they help me when I’m
really upset and they make me
feel warm and welcomed. Books also
make me grateful they
make me more interested in
books and reading.
Alia A.
Pintame con pelo carmelita,
ojos marrones, pantalones anchos y
blusa negra
Pintame con pelo yuvio, ojos
razules, panlalones pegados,
blusa de colores
Dayanna R., “If I were in Charge of the World”
If I were in charge of the world
You wouldn’t have to pay at stores
You wouldn’t have to do your chores
You wouldn’t have to be poor
You wouldn’t even need money
If I were in charge of the world
There would not be any more car crashes
Your phone, iPad, computer always 100%
And a person who sometimes go somewhere new
And sometimes forgets to brush your teeth
Would still be allowed to be in charge of the world.
Mrs. Edwards’ Class
Francis D., “My Happy Place”
When I am bored when I’m alone
When there’s nothing else that’s bold
When I’m sad When I’m mad
When I lose something I had
When I’m anxious when I’m worried
When I really want to scurry away I imagine myself in a place where I can’t be
judged or bothered or annoyed I can imagine myself in the beach in space
Or really in any place but not any place my place to
Be free from what I hate. My happy place. The Best Place to be for me
And if you feel anything you don’t like just like me
Imagine a place that would make you happy!
Mia B., “When I was 7”
When I was 7 I had a donut. The donut was so soft when I
touched. When I was 7 the donut tasted so good when I took a
bite out of the corner of the donut. When I was 7 the donut
smelled like strawberry frosting. When I was 7 the donut sounded
so fresh out of the oven. When I was 7, the donut look so
hot so I let it cool down.
Evelyn M.
My bed is relaxing
A feeling of relief after a long day
My bed is where my stuffed animals live when I’m away
They sit patiently waiting for me to come home
My bed is comforting with warm blankets and soft pillows
My bed is where me and my brother create forts with
blankets, games, and snacks
My bed is what I jump off into a sea
