Sorry/Soory/I’m not sorry

I apologize.
I love you, Puerto Rico
but I will come back
and I am going to play with you
ok?
Please don’t get mad at me.

I apologize for hitting you,
I apologize for hitting you on purpose
in front of everyone.
I apologize for hitting you
in the gym with a ball.
I will hit myself to apologize
I will jump from a hill,
or get hurt by a rattle snake.
I am soo sorry for getting you hurt
I would do anything to apologize.

I apologize that I made
my brother cry a lot at home.

I apologize that my sister
is sick of her feet.

I apologize
that I need to grow up.

I apologize for myself,
what I did.

I apologize for being Canadian
I apologize that I am sorry.
I apologize for closing your gate when you left it open
I apologize for finding your gloves in the snow
and returning them
I apologize for apologizing.

To make it up to you
I will not apologize. I won’t apologize
for saying sorry.
I will keep your gate open
I will keep your gloves.

I apologize for pepper spraying a squirrel
’cause it was crying while I was smiling. I apologize
for kicking the squirrel. It was in pain so I kicked it
to see if he was okay. I’ll make it up by respecting animals
and feeding your cousin with nuts.
Next time, if I find pepper spray
I’ll test it on a hobo.

I apologize for eating your fries
in the house there is no food for me to eat. I can’t
help it when it comes to Popeyes –
Popeyes fries, I can’t help it, so good.

I apologize for forgetting
that you were going to eat the fries,
so I will let you eat me food,
but if it’s Chinese food
I’m eating it.

One day I was playing with my baby sister
then I dropped her
head first to the floor. Then she was crying.
I tried asking her if she wants candy
then she said “yeah,”
so I gave her candy.

When I was 7
I went fishing with my uncle.
We caught a catfish, he jumped
in my hands,
I put him in a headlock.
I don’t want to apologize to the fish
because he tasted delicious in my stomach,
and besides,
he can’t hear me because he’s dead.
I’m mad at you because you took hours to cook.
I could tell you didn’t eat much
your stomach had a little meat inside of you.
If you want,
I eat your wife and kids
to make you happy.

I’m not sorry for chasing you with a shot gun
because you think you can walk
into Dunkin Donuts and cut through the line
just because you are a cop.
So when you got in front of me, I grabbed your shotgun
and faced it to the ceiling and boom! Some of the ceiling
came crashing down
so the cop looked at me
and try to grab his shotgun
but I had it, took it, and I said to the cop
“Who the cop now, cop?”