Poems (with footnotes)

I heard a sound walking (2).
Coming closer and closer (3)
I heard it talking (4)
It was pacing along my hallway (5)
I heard it walking again (6)
Coming closer and closer (7)
Then a BANG! (8)

1. My brother
2. It was my brother!
3. Dude! What time does that kid get up at?
4. He was yelling because he finally found his iPad
5. He was running along the hallway
6. He frightened me so much!
7. Dude! It went bam!
8. My brother fell and broke his foot.

The last time I played battleship it scarred me
for life (1). I got caught and tried to surrender (2),
then I tried to escape (3). After some interrogation
they left (4). It was crazy (5)

1. I played in the lake with metal canoes and we sunk
2. They “weren’t taking prisoners”
3. They were on my ship. Whoops.
4. Not after sinking my ship with me inside!
5. I never want to do that again, scratch that, it was fun.

Thank you to all the referees,
Thank you for all the great (1) calls, all the amazing (2) decisions
and all the amazing (3) games you have excellent (4) vision,
great (5) awareness, but best of all, you are a great man.
All those fouls, offsides, everything. How do you always get
them right (6)? You listen (7) to everyone and are always
making the game better (8).

1. Terrible
2. Horrendous
3. Horrid
4. Non-existing
5. Bad
6. Wrong
7. Don’t listen
8. Worse

Thank you for the chocolate (1). Chocolate
is my favorite (2). I will eat it
tomorrow (3). Chocolate is the best
thing in the whole world (4).
How did you know I love
chocolate (5)? I’m so happy writing
this letter to you (6). I was hoping
I got chocolate this year (7)!
Thank you very much (8)!

1. Thanks for nothing
2. I hate chocolate
3. I will never eat it
4. Chocolate sucks
5. I hate chocolate
6. I’m wasting my time writing this letter
7. I was hoping I got skittles
8. Thanks for nothing