Humorous Hyperboles @ Shoesmith 5th & 6th Grade

It took me years
I wanted to give my teachers my work
But it blew away
It started raining cats and dogs
My work was dead
It caught a ride to the vent
I was so mad because I took me years to finish that home work

When I saw the goat jumped, I died
But when I looked back up he was soaring
My jaw dropped on the floor so I had to pick it back up
But I tried to tell my friends they looked and the goat was passed out
My mouth open so wide that you can fit a full size car in it

I woke up early, dazed and dizzy
And I scratched my chin
I knew today would be very busy
So I got dressed and grabbed my violin

I am in a yearly talent show
I have to play the violin in front of the school
I don’t think I’ll like it as much as I know
I will get so frightened I think I will drool

I make my breakfast, and gobble it up quick
I hear the school bus outside of my door
And one last time I practice a performance trick
I can’t handle today anymore

As the lunch bell rings, I walk into the cafeteria
The smell makes me want to puke
The lunch lady says “It’s made of dried Bacteria”
“And on the side is deliciously fried liver fluke”

As I leave the lunchroom and walk up on stage
I hear tiny voices in my head saying “We don’t like you”
I get on to playing, but then I stop in a rage
As the crowd starts shouting “BOO”

I finished my notes/homework
it took a long time
but my little brother ripped it
all my hard work is gone

Now I have to do it again
I have to stay up all night to finish it
I was going to sleep
thinking of what would happen

If I told the teacher my ripped my work
Will I get in trouble?
Will I have to do it again?
And waste all my time doing my work again

The day I start driving, I can go home
Today its raining cats and dogs
On a plane I can go to Rome
I’m going to fail this test.

I’m going to pop.

I finished cleaning have a million toys in my room
I picked up a million my toys off the floor
I picked up my clothes
I hung them up on the door

I vacuumed the rug
Then I made up the bed
I took the books off the chair
and made sure the fish were fed

I went to get an apple from the fridge
And when I came back in
The floor was a mess and the bed was flipped
My sister messed it all up so I did it again

I get down the bowl
The seasoning scares me
I’m making jerk chicken
UGH please let me be

Grabbing a piece whole
I open the jar
I can’t stop blinking
I want to run far

ACHOOOOOO!

That sneeze was a roar
I then pour it in
This could be the next virus
It smells like a sin

I mix the seasoning in the chicken
My lungs start to give out
One by One
I know they gave out with no doubt

It gets in my eye
It burns, grab a hose!
My eye won’t even open
I have to pinch my nose

It has a mind of its own
In my eye it stays
Please, just get out!
Uncle Captain Man saves the day

I finished my project
I stayed up all night
I did it on the weekends last minute
I did it on my computer it was so bright

I look at the time its 2 o’clock
I’m so tired I could downright sink in my bed
I read my poem and practice
This makes me so angry I have veins popping out my head

I look at my poem so happy I’m done
Then look to see I used all caps
I see I spelled everything wrong
No I’m done I’m going to take a nap

Wanda was so angry her blood was boiling
Why did Vision have to be so annoying

Going to work, every day in the morning and working for a million hours
She decides to cook using her powers

Vision walks into the kitchen
Scares Wanda half to death
A plate crashes on Vision’s head like a meteor
Wanda has to stop and take a breath

Wanda and Vision laugh so hard they might choke
Wanda goes into the fridge to grab a coke

Wanda and vision are so hungry they could eat a horse
But let’s not forget, of course

They’ve got two children
Who could eat a billion

The dinner is done, there’s a kiss of peace
Then, everyone eats

Except Vision, and either way we all know he’s deceased

I laugh so hard my tongue fell out
I fell on my knees so hard my bones almost fell out
I ate something so good I felt like I was about to die
I hit my head so hard after it felt like a rock

I bit my hand accidentally and it felt bad
I was playing Minecraft on my game and hit my head while I was on stream
I was playing games and got my finger stuck
I was so mad my mouth burst out steam

I just got home from school
My mom is finishing up dinner
I got started on my homework
In math I am a beginner

My nose feels like it is about to fall in love
My moms’ food is a magic palace
My mom gives me a dead rat on my plate
I think in my head why did I smell amazing casserole

and seasoned broccoli