Animal Rationale

chewing bones doesn’t
hurt my jaws. they
are so powerful that I
can tear out a human’s
finger. If I do it, I
will eat it! My claws
are Huge. I can stab
a bear with them, if he bothers me
my tail looks like a
dog’s tail. If they pick
me up I will bite them.
So never touch me again or
it will be the worst thing ever.

I bark and bite people
I’m a dog and I use the
bathroom whereever I want
I eat dog food and bones
I chase squirrels and sometimes
eat them. When I see a dog
I bark at him. I eat and
sleep all the day. People think
I’m nice but I’m not I’m only
nice with the people I know.
I see a cat, I chase him
but he will hide but I don’t
like to be alone in a dark
scary room I will bark and
and hide. I hate lightnings
they are scary, big, and loud
I would hide, bark, and cry.

I am a butterfly.
I am wondering if I could
go inside a human’s house
and drink a coke soda when
they’re at work and at school.
If their house has flowers
with nectar I will drink
the nectar. And I will see
what else I could eat.
And I will leave but I will
get some bubblegum to go.

Can I go eat some leaves?
I’m starving why are you
laying on ther chair drinking
soda what if I am dressed
like a boy during my eating time
I’m a ladybug; people step on me
they put me on the stairs to flick
me down.

Bunny let’s jump
no I am sad
why
Because I am not hungry any
more because I ate the moon.
It was so good, it was tasting
like carrots. Mmhmm.
Why you ate a moon?
I was so hungry I ate
the moon because I didn’t want
to eat the world then I ate
the moon.

unicorn unicorn please give me a horn I
like your horn please give me one. How about for
a prey or a girl to ride on, oh I forgot they
have to ride on you. How about a zillion dollars
please please unicorn please give me a horn
“No No No you getting on my nerves why you
want my horn everybody want my horn.”

I am really old and I won’t die.
I will really try not to
die, these are things that
I will do before I would die –
with food, I will poop in a
shoe, I will eat with a fork, and
I will ride in a bike. These are
the things I will do. But there’s
something I really want to do
is that… I will attack anyone
who’s outside and will act like
a rat with rabies.

Ok just let me sneak into this human’s house for tonight
Now I will make my web and sleep
Oh look, the human is watching TV
Oh look, he’s looking at me
Wait
Wait
Human
What are you doing
What are you doing with that flamethrower
I only wanted to rest and I’m lonely
why does everyone run from me
is it something I did
Sorry
Seriously human what are you doing with that
flamethrower
no
human you’re burning the house down
his word were “nope” “nope” “nope” “nope”

Yesterday I kind of
felt bad for blowing
fire at guards you what
I shouldn’t feel sad because
they was pointing swords at
me saying if I didn’t give
them my peanut and jelly sandwich
they would stab so I blow
their pants on fire.

I live with a mutt
who smacks his butt
he’s a tornado
who doesn’t like potatoes.

Give me a bow and arrow
I am a myth
Not from Percy Jackson
they wanted me because
I’m fabulous!
Hey I found a camera!
The Tasmanian tiger came
and said, “Why do you have
a crossbow?”
the centaur said “It’s a
camera!” Mr. Bear came he said
“Take a picture of me”
the centaur killed the
bear. The centaur said
“I will rule the world
kill those filthy
little humans!” the fox
came and said “What
does the fox say? a
hatsy haty ho the tasmanian tiger
said “Not now!”
The fox replied I’m trying to
figure out what I said
the centaur said say
cheese and he shot
him.

Hi, my name is Foot people
call me “Bigfoot” when really my
name is “Hector” Hectorfoot my feet
is the size of a tiny pencil.

In the middle of the night I turn
into a robot. My plan is to destroy
all humans but I have a huge problem
nobody comes to my house. Only
monsters. Like I
have a poker game with the
evil witch, Freddy, and Jason.

Wait for a minute, hot tamales
in the oven…

alright I’m
back, what was I saying?
you made me forget which what do you
want to do. Ok bye.